Welcome to your Wednesday wellness reflection.
This week I find myself reflecting on all of our relations; those we know through our maternal and paternal blood lines, those we know in our blood, breath and bones, those we share the land with.
As I witness the unbinding of my mom, I am urged to reflect a little deeper on my own place in the world, and the stories that make up the web of my own life.
She has been fading for many years now, as Dementia steals the narrative of her life and with it parts of my own.
What makes it so difficult is their constant struggle and confusion, and the repeated goodbyes. Over time your heart breaks a little more. Never knowing if they’ll know who you are the next time you connect, if they’ll remember the sound of your voice, the stories you’ve shared or even your relation to them.
Sometimes, with hope in your heart, they’re back – often for a fleeting moment, and then they’re gone again.
Witnessing her journey, it reminds me how we ruminate over so many things, often things that in the grand scheme of a life lived, don’t really matter. All of sudden, one day, all those worries unravel and disappear.
I think about those things so many of us dream about doing “one day”, the stories you intend to write through your life once you reach a certain stage, or simply “one day” – I beg you to consider to write the first word of that chapter today, even if you’re just taking a baby step in that direction. Respecting your circumstances, make yourself your biggest priority, because one day, we’re all immersed in the big mystery – and those stories don’t have the opportunity to be written in the unique way you would have created them in this lifetime.
Honour the life you have been given, perhaps it’s not the most comfortable journey – but perhaps tomorrow you will take steps to better support yourself. Maybe breaking patterns, maybe asking for help, maybe taking the long talked about road less traveled – it exists.
Try not to regret your stories, rather learn from them. Integrate the lessons from the challenges, and remember the joy found in those moments that were so beautiful you don’t even have words to reflect on them. TRY if you can, to savour more of those moments and notice them when they arrive.
We’ve been through a hard story, that we all share the baseline to, let’s remember to listen to eachother and honour each other’s stories, as we start to come together in community again. Reach out to those people that bring you peace and honour the core of who you actually are. DO those things you have always dreamt about starting – life is fragile and fleeting, I am acutely aware of this truth.
Remembering my mother’s stories, and the stories that created her foundation, also offers me a softness towards who she was and the life she lived, one I wish I could show her now. We don’t always realize the gifts we were given until they are gone.
Sending you love on your journey
Wishing you wellness in body, mind and spirit on your own unique journey, emerging in your own time and honouring the narrative of your life.
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2 thoughts on “Unbinding”
My dear Amber – I am so sorry to hear that your Mom is not well. We have slowly lost touch over the years but reading your reflection today, I need to say Phyllis was a very special person and very dear in all our memories. She was so kind and gentle and I pray she is not suffering.
I wish we lived closer. Thank you for posting your thoughts. Love Judi and Skip.
Dear Judi, oh it is wonderful to hear from you, thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts, and to send such a beautiful message – I am grateful. My mom is such a kind and gentle person, and I too pray her suffering is not long. I hope one day we’re able to share a cup of tea together, wow would I ever love that. Please stay in touch – and thank you so much for reaching out. Love Amber