Welcome to this week’s Wednesday wellness reflection.
I invite you to take a moment and close your eyes, or find a calming focus point. Tune into your breath and notice how it feels flowing in and flowing out.
Is it difficult to concentrate on that rhythm?
Does this simple breath practice support a calm internal state or do you notice a wave of anxiety? Try if you can to just stay curious to what’s happening for you in this moment.
If your mind is wandering, perhaps invite your attention back to your breath, consciously invite ease and peace into your body and try to be gentle with yourself.
In this space of stillness, I wonder how you’re doing?
Take your time here, honouring however you show up right now.
I went for a walk in the woods the other day searching for peace and quiet. As I stepped outside however things were different, the normal quiet I have been accustomed to in the forest, had been I felt robbed, by the sound of a jackhammer echoing through the trees.
I was craving quiet as it was my first day alone at our home after 6 weeks, needing time to decompress, I had a strong desire and raw base need for silence.
With that first step I could feel my body growing more tense, annoyed at how they could ruin my time of solitude. I traveled through irritation, to annoyance, to what seemed to be anger bubbling up inside of me. As I walked and breathed into the whole emotional soup that was steadily brewing, I could sense all the emotions from not just that moment, but from this past year, coming up to the surface, triggered yes, by the jackhammer – it felt like they were breaking through the stone of how I thought I was, allowing me a window into the truth of my core in this moment.
At a certain point I found myself sitting beside a tree, tears streaming down my cheeks, no longer aware of the jackhammer.
Something happened in that moment, a deep sigh of relief, for that sound that only minutes before brought up anger slowly urged me deeper – deeper into the woods and in that journey, deeper into myself.
Slowly my breath too deepened, and I could truly connect with the contact points beneath my own body as I leaned into the constant comforting support and nurturing embrace that I find only as I sit upon and connect with the earth. As the soup simmered I sat in silence, gratitude seemed to flow through me for the workers who are simply helping my neighbours to create a home in the forest, they were not intentionally trying to steal away my silence. Gratitude for the miracle that has brought me and my family to these healing woods. I felt gratitude, believe it or not, for the sound that urged me deeper inside, yes the jackhammer itself.
I was able to detach from the external distractions, realizing to immerse myself in that much needed quiet I first needed to find it in myself, regardless of what was happening around me. There is no cave that can bring us that silence, it is what many spend their whole lives searching for, and meanwhile it’s always here patiently waiting inside.
We talk about this so often in our yoga classes, and we experience glimpses of the practice with the hopes that those glimpses will come with us as we roll up our mats. Sometimes those distractions or external “annoyances” we attach to and blame for a practice that we feel didn’t serve us, that pulled us out of our center – however often those are the times on our mats that often serve us the most – helping us to realize sometimes how far from our own centre we have actually strayed.
With everything happening in the world, I feel the fragility of life a little more these days, recommitting to my own life experience for this brief time I have in this body. I am also reminded to step out of the experience of I a little more often, and reflect on the bigger picture, all the pieces in the grander puzzle.
If you can, I encourage you to take a little bit of time over the next while to:
Think about your own motivations as you move through the ups and downs of your days.
Think about the way you respond or react to life.
Consider the impact of the stress, the pain, and the uncertainty in our global community on you. Are you able to acknowledge how perhaps your feeling the feelings that are being felt outside of yourself. Hmm, you may want to read that again, less confusing on the second read through!
Can you be gentle with yourself, and carve out windows for you – despite the jackhammers, and all the other external distractions that will assuredly arise in those moments.
Consider what triggers you, and perhaps dive deeper.
“Transformation is not accomplished by tentative wading at the edge.” – Robin Wall Kimmerer
Thank you for taking the time to consider my thoughts, I hope this reflection helped you in some small way on your own journey.
Please know I’m holding you in my heart,
With so much love,
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